Business Writing Skills

Business Writing Practice: Change to Active Voice and Clean Up the Clutter

Have you been told to use active not passive voice in your business writing? Probably. And if not, you’re hearing it now. I came across a useful example of the passive voice and edited it below to illustrate the difference. Read through the before version and see where you would make changes, not only to the passive voice but to the clutter caused by so many additional (and unnecessary) words. Then you can check out my edits, and see how the version with the edits accepted is 51 words shorter than the original. That’s 25% shorter!

This is good practice for all of us who want to be better at business writing, so I encourage you to rewrite this first before you look at my edits. And please note that I only tried to tighten the writing, not improve it. You are free to improve it, if you’d like. That’s also good practice!

OK, ready? Go…

Before (196 words)
It’s hard to believe that we’re nearing the end of 2016 already. With the business of the holidays looming just around the corner, it’s important to start putting plans in place to set your business up for success in 2018. One way to do that is to make sure you’re using analytics.

Analytics is a vital tool for digital marketers, SEO analysts and webmasters alike. For the ability to really understand how effective a digital website campaign has been, to review SEO performance, or to find out how well users are interacting with your new website, analytics is the go-to tool.

However, you can easily get lost within analytics if you don’t know what you are looking for. With so much data available at your fingertips, it can be pretty difficult to know where to look to find the most important metrics.

Without being able to analyze your website traffic, how will you be able to effectively assess your current marketing strategy and know how to move forward? Through using analytics, you can uncover massive amounts of data about your website and your users, gaining valuable insights that can be used to enhance your marketing strategies.

After
It’s hard to believe that we’re nearing the end of 2016 already. With the business ofthe holidays looming just around the corner, it’s important to start putting time to put plans in place to set your business upfor success in 2017. One way to do that is to make sure you’re using use analytics.

Analytics is a vital tool for digital marketers, SEO analysts and webmasters alike. For the ability to really understand how effective a digital Analytics can help you understand the effectiveness of a website campaign has been, to review SEO performance, or to find out how well  users are interacting with your new website, analytics is the go-to tool.

However, it’s easy to you can easily get lost within analytics  if you don’t know what to look you are looking  for. With so much data available at your fingertips, it’s it can be prettydifficult to know where to look to find the most important metrics.

Without being able to analyze  analyzing your website traffic, how will can you be able toeffectively assess your current marketing strategy and know how to move forward? Through using With analytics, you can discover uncover massive amounts of data about your website and your users, gaining for valuable insights that can be used you can use to enhance your marketing strategies.

After, without edits showing (145 words)
It’s hard to believe that we’re nearing the end of 2016 already. With the holidays looming, it’s time to put plans in place for success in 2017. One way to do that is to use analytics.

Analytics is a vital tool for digital marketers, SEO analysts and webmasters. Analytics can help you understand the effectiveness of a website campaign, review SEO performance, or find out how users are interacting with your new website.

However, it’s easy to get lost if you don’t know what to look for. With so much data available, it’s difficult to know where to find the most important metrics.

Without analyzing your website traffic, how can you effectively assess your current marketing strategy and know how to move forward? With analytics, you can discover data about your website and users, for valuable insights you can use to enhance your marketing strategies.

Well? How did you do? How many words were you able to remove by tightening this up? Did you discover any of your own bad habits? If so, live and learn and be a better business writer!

Until next time!

4 thoughts on “Business Writing Practice: Change to Active Voice and Clean Up the Clutter”

  1. Awesome! Like the crisp approach.

    You may also want to add a period after webmasters in this sentence ‘Analytics is a vital tool for digital marketers, SEO analysts and webmasters Analytics can help you understand the effectiveness of a website campaign, review SEO performance, or find out how users are interacting with your new website.’

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